Word Overlord, er, Overload

Did you ever read the book "Still Alice"? It's a novel about a woman who is a linguistics professor at Harvard University who sadly, ironically, tragically, develops Alzheimer's disease and gradually loses her powers of, yes, language. The interesting thing is that it's told from HER perspective so that as you read the book, her language and writing gradually unravels and you can FEEL the ground being pulled away beneath her. It's an amazing book and one of the most amazing things about it is that it has enjoyed great commercial success (including being one of Oprah's picks) despite the fact that it was rejected dozens of times by all of the major publishers, the author ended up self-publishing the thing, and then afterwards it was picked up by a major house.

But the OTHER reason I'm mentioning "still alice" is because it ignites all your personal fears if, like me, someday developing alzheimer's is on your list of things that go bump in the night. I was drawn in by the first scene where alice -- in quick succession -- forgets a word or two, loses her keys, wanders into the kitchen and can't remember what she's doing there. of course, but of course, she googles her symptoms and decides it's not alzheimer's but perimenopause -- which is exacctly what I had done a few months previously when after working a series of twelve hour days involving a 130 mile commute and leaving my house at 6 AM (don't ask), I found myself at a kid's swim practice at 8 PM talking to close friend and realizing that for the life of me, I couldn't remember her name.

The reason I'm mentioning this is my husband thinks it's stress, but I seem to be reaching a new boiling point of sorts. last evening, I looked at the computer keyboard and COULD NOT, COULD NOT, COULD NOT remember where to put my fingers, nor could I remember where the letters were on the keyboard (and for those of you who know, I'm an awesome typist, 90 words a minute). I frustratingly hunted and pecked for about ten minutes before the situation resolved itself, but it was as though I had fried the synapse between my fingers and my brain. I'm thinking maybe it's just too much reading. My brain is so full, that what I'm losing is the little things I should know. But clearly, my short term memory is fine, as I have now learned to fill my head with public policy information which I can then regurgitate on command in nice little 3.5 minute soundbites on the nightly news. I'm trying not to think of it as obama barf.